Through the Holiday

Hello All:
I made it through Thanksgiving day without going to the casino! Yeah! Actually YEAH!!!
I gave myself the goal to not go to the casino on Thanksgiving day just because that is what I always do.  Yes, last year and the year before my Mom was still here and we went because it was the holiday and that was the excuse we used.  We always found an excuse to go.  Funny now I find excuses not to go.  Now I will say to myself, just stay home from there today and tomorrow will take care of itself.  I play facebook at www.facebook.com   which helped.  Actually it was much better since I could sit in my pj's and play.
Did not feel as if I lost money I do not have.  Almost as bad as loosing the money, is the time I spend there.  I cannot go for an hour or two I always say that is what I am going to do but it always ends up being hours and all the wasted time there really makes me feel like crap.  To help me stay away now I buy myself a small "present." Last time I bought two pictures for the wall.  That helps.  I also walk through where I work and look at all the stuff I would like to buy and think if I just stay away for one day I can get the things I really want and have something to show for it.  Sounds good and it works.  The greatest part is work is crazy with the holidays here and there is not really enough time to spend hours and hours there.
I have struggled with gambling ever since I won the first time and also lost really big the first time. I have been chasing the money for years now.  Once you win alot of money, you know it is possible and then continue to chase it until one day you are flat broke and have done things you cannot even admit to yourself.  I have lost everything and earned it back so many times it is really hard to look myself in the mirror and think about it.   Gambling took over just as any drug can.  Doesn't matter what you become addicted to, the addiction takes over and I for one find it hard to escape from.  We end up defining ourselves with the addiction and labeling ourselves by it.  As with any addiction, eating, smoking, drugs, alcohol, shopping, or gambling we inside our own heads define ourselves as a the addiction.  The little tricks our psychological selves say are "I am a smoker", "I am a drug addict" "I am a shopper" or "I am a gambler" and then the idea becomes a fact!
Now I say to myself "I am a writer"  " I write blogs for money" " I am wealthy" I have learned so much in the past year.  I now deep down in my soul understand the law of attraction. But that is for later.  This blog is for anyone who does not understand how we make our own reality. 
I am writing about the tricks and steps I use every day to stay away and not feel the utter disgust in myself for spending money I do not have.
So for anyone trying to stay away these little tricks work.  Really they do.  I have to say if I had the money I would go all the time, but I do not and I have to stay away.  It actually feels really good to be able to pay the bills and have no outstanding checks or withdraws on my statement from there.  For all the people attempting to stop the madness my few tips on the road to the end come in the form of baby steps.  First thing I did was tell myself I would not have any overdrafts in my checking account, no matter what, I would make sure the money was there and not pay the thirty-five dollars they charge for overdrawn checks.  I figured I would save that way. It worked!  I made it a specific goal one week at a time. Of course I was really broke some weeks, and I timed the check to make sure it would not hit the bank until the money was there which required some fast thinking on my part.  Some weeks I held my breath until Friday, but I accomplished it.  And for anyone who has floated checks that in itself can be so energy draining, both physically and emotionally.  I felt as I had won a war when I made it through the first week of no overdrafts. And I am pleased to say I have not had one since.  I use the thirty-five dollars to have lunch a couple times a week at work.  Better for me all the way around. I feel better physically because I eat better and psychologically because I do not beat myself up for seven days.
After I accomplished that goal, my next goal was to not have any withdrawn or checks at all for one bank statement.  That was the really hard one.  One statement is one month. The are four weeks!  That is a long time to make a goal for, so I broke it down into weeks again.  If there were no withdraws at the casino or I did not write any checks for one week I would reward myself again.  Buy something which I saw and wanted. I could always take it back and get my money back unlike the casino once it was gone it was gone.  I can say that goal took longer than I thought possible.  There are alot of days in week!  We think it is only seven but when you are battling or even waiting for something seven days is an eternity to get through.  The only thing which helped was I was working different hours than usual, and the TV helped.  Some of my favorite shows are back on gave me something to do at night.  I was selling my bracelets on ebay which by the way was another way for me to want to come home from work for.
 I had to see if the bracelets I believed would help people emotionally deal with cancer were selling.  The links are: Breast Cancer www.ebay.com/itm/121024572481 ,  and another one www.ebay.com/itm/121020455808 .Then I have one for colon cancer, which is how my mom died, www.ebay.com/itm/121024571906 , and many more.  I wear one of the bracelets I made everyday to remind myself how wonderful I am without gambling it is green and purple cat's eyes also available on eBay at www.ebay.com/itm/121024565471 , I love it and it reminds me of what I can do with all the time I spent gambling.
Just some of my little tricks which work for me.  Everyone has to find their own tricks to help themselves.
As I accomplished the goal of no casino withdraws or checks I felt better about myself and started to define myself differently.  I am and always be a gambler, I just choose different and more productive gambling.  Like eBay and selling which I might say is a gamble, like trying to make money from blogging which is just a different gamble.  Everyday is a gamble.  So the moral here is you really do not need to go to the casino, any casino.  The redefining of yourself to yourself is the key to breaking the habit.  And going to the casino is the habit.  I also will say to myself daily what is most important to me?  The casino and the day spent there or a day spent laying on my couch with my cats?  I have reestablished my priorities to me and now feel much better about myself and am happier not trying to chase the money I have lost, it is gone and all I can do is go on from here.  I have 'slipped' now and again, but I just tell myself, it is ok I just have to minimize the losses and go on from this point.  I do have to say these little baby steps are working for me.  I did not go on Thanksgiving. I stayed home and did nothing.  My cats and I watched the shows I DVR'd which I would not have been able to do if I was at the casino all day.  I know it would have been all day, because I can't go for an hour or two, I, as with anyone who goes to the casino has to stay until they are broke or they have won so much they could not possibly loose it.
There is help and it comes in very small doses and small affirmations which turn into big ones and suddenly you are where you never thought you would be.  Not sitting in the casino for hours at a time wasting the day, yeah you may still waste the day but you did not waste the money too.
To everyone trying to redefine themselves start small.  Remember baby steps! Accomplish one goal at a time and do not overwhelm yourself at first. These steps really do work.
While adding the links from my eBay to the above I sold something small but still a small message from the universe that tells me I am on the right track.  I am doing what I am supposed to do, when I am supposed to be doing it.  For anyone who needs a little guidance I can be reached by email at suep2004@comcast.net.  For anyone who has a story of success it can be left in the comments section of this blog, it just might help someone else.  Please no negativity.  I am only concentrating on the positivity of the solutions.